Jonesing

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 Woke up Jonesing this morning- scattered, anxious, clumsy ( is that a thing with ADD?) , anger readily available.


Remembered to breath, to eat, to reframe on 'what's the next hard thing I can choose to do'? as opposed to picking my beard, wandering from room to room forgetting what I just felt had to be done RIGHT NOW, or picking a distraction.

ADD remains fucking HARD. A true pain in the ass. Frustrating. Restraining, shrinking your world to your head + thoughts, to lots of activity but no action, or progress.

I often think there's got be some aspect of Narcissism involved in ADD - at least my ADD - and I don't know if it's heritable, but if so, thanks Mom! You spend so much goddamn time thinking about yourself. Away from your actual life, the real world passing by you as if you're a Guppie in a fish tank. Lots of swimming, but going nowhere. SEEING the world, being a part of it, but not IN IT. 

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